dark

in the lonely hour, what ugly do you unmask?
what ill intentional summonings are your souls inhabitants?
is there room in your spirit for a black that’s muddied with gold?
do you have it in you, every night your heart gets weak, to whisper a serenity prayer to the darkness –
let it seep into your soul so deep your darkness becomes glorious?
is there a heavy tone inside you that’s holy?

i know you were taught that the devil incarnates from the absence of
white
but only one is deficiency
only one abstracts
tints & tilts
shifts focus & deceives
 
turn the lights off
rebirth must begin with death
some truths reside in the absence of light
and can’t be exposed by bringing them to it
but only in following the swallow of the night
heave and weighted by all that’s blamed on it

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open, loving

fists
clenched fingers, knuckles outward, soft inward
guarded
we live like fists
shackled
this life isn’t about winning
loving
heart drenched in pain
soul poured into affection
vulnerable and exposed
awkward, silence filled chasms of quirky,
true
we don’t live in mistake enough
don’t live in unplanned enough for spontaneous to be warm embrace of bed,
comfortable
here’s my palm
open, willing,
just grab on.

you

forget everyone else for a second
remember your heartbeat inside your chest
license to breathe & be pumping rhythm through your veins
remember love
for self
forgiveness wrapped in cherry blossoms sprinkled over you for never being that person you dreamed of becoming
forgiveness for trying to convince yourself that you are, should be, anything other than flesh and bone, dancing to the beat of your drum
then let yourself dance.

as

there is a thing you were never supposed to be
because you are
there is a person waiting for you to accept
fingers & toes notwithstanding
there is a you
patient
being
present not in glitters & gold
but mud & stardust
the stuff of clay molding,
sculpture existing –
you.

A Tale

There is a tale clawing at my rib cage,
tugging on my arteries
begging to be heard.

Hands cupped into a whistle,
ready to sing for supper
some food for thought
words that could eradicate world hunger.

They’re itching at my finger tips
and dancing on my tongue.

Their melody a symphony
whose tone I can’t decipher.

Their rhythm tapping on my toes
beats drumming in my ears,
vibrations coursing through my veins
but their harmony escapes my lobes.

A tale of sorrow
a tale of pride
a tale of love, hidden deep inside.

In the crevices of my voice,
the nooks and crannies of a whisper.

Somewhere peaking through the cracks,
an opening,
a window
for my soul to peer through.

Somewhere sliding through the rift
a chink,
a glimmer,
in the light that sneaks through.
There is a tale clawing at my rib cage,
it is my heart trying to escape.

Say so

My love isn’t any less because I don’t say so.
Some words aren’t anymore because they’re all said,
So
Excuse me while I carve my heart the shape of your lips.
Excuse me while I block out the sun so that all I see is your glowing face.
Let the crackle in my voice be the dented pages you wish to find your name engraved upon,
love shaped circles in the way my hands cup your face.
Let the goosebumps on my skin be the spitting image of thanksgiving dinner,
my fear of losing you etched in the pores of this plucked pelt put to rest on crumb filled tables of gratitude.
I stand before you a carpenter’s workshop –
splinters and shavings flailing about.
I am the dust that gets brushed off the thing that’s worth looking at;
floating away, never to be thought of again.
See,
If my words meant anything anymore I would use them;
dig into your ears with sweet nothings and
drum the beat of your pumping crimson heritage till I hit matter,
pound letters into your mind and make you rethink the alphabets sequence.
Letters senselessly misplaced in my being.
Lose L to the sound of my voice,
Find O in the touch of my skin,
See V in the shape of my nose,
Taste E on the tip of my tongue,
The gaps in your ABC’s, meaningless signs of an incomplete;
a hushed memory from a distant thought,
some lesson untaught,
and if silence could speak it would tell you the same.
Show you the mouth duct taped in the dark corner now shining in the spotlight of that centre stage microphone.
Show you the speaker of a body, morphed from a disfigured childhood.
Show you missed commas,
forgotten fullstops,
T’s mistaken for L’s,
I’s unfinished lines,
stories of a perfection’s untold flaws.
Sometimes,
I mistake your smile for the air in my lungs.
The warmth of your gaze for the blood in my veins.
Fault the stars for their soulless stares
because your eyes are the windows to my body of mismatched fingers and knuckles,
canvas that painted my imperfections into jagged edged frames.
So,
If I said the words, would you see the meaning?
Would you hear me make sense?
If I said the words would that be all you needed?!
My love isn’t any less because I don’t say so.
Some words aren’t anymore because they’re all said,
So,
Excuse me while I let these healed wounds do all the talking.

Perspective

March 2015

I like the view from my window
there I can sit, pen in hand
thoughts in mind
smile and wonder
wonder at the world that carries on just beyond that tree
the little girl drawing her future into the playground snow
the floating pieces of cold cotton that linger in the air
magical tufts of ice filling the sky with white tone
wonder
about the cars that drive by oblivious to the world beyond their dashboards
wonder
at the snowflakes delicately balancing on the barren trees
the sun whose warmth is missed but brightness felt
the fluffy white running through the air
dancing to the yellow melody
but the cars, they whip by
coursing through the masterpiece unfolding before their eyes
the cars hum that lifeless tune
and the barren trees,
basking in the beauty of a renaissance
they cry for the cars to find a new song

I like the view from my window
here I can sit, pen in hand
thoughts in mind
smile and wonder
wonder at what goes on just beyond that windscreen
the husband picking up the kids from school
impressionable minds with the world to discover
endless possibilities to exploit and a driver dad to boot
there in that box
is a heart shaped circle
whole
togetherness
American Pie dream of a life
the kids
they giggle and snicker at their driver dad’s cat in the hat impressions
their laughs warming their souls
their tiny fingers marking the steam stained glass
the thing that keeps the cold out
and their eyes,
peaking through the lined breathe
they mourn for the shivering lone tree to find spring

For the love of words

2013

Speak what you feel and feel what you speak ’cause
Speech is a powerful tool that toils with the mind
Unwinding from a reel of feelings that pile and line up
Waiting
To be paid for their generous contribution to the society that is you;
A community of hormones meticulously molding a metropolis of complicated convictions that conflict contemptuously…
Words, kiss so sweetly
As tongues intertwine
As letters flow igniting a flame of expression
So hot, so bright as
Thoughts touch lips,
Softly and smoothly forming sentences,
Deep sleek fluent sentences that flowed poetically clouding a message so simple and clear
My convection unconstraining my mind from the
Confines of conventional conjecture conveniently constructed to
Confuse and conceal the condiments of life
Enhancing the flavour of
Food for my mind,
Food for my soul
Words that make my stomach rumble,
Fill me up like ugali never could,
Empty me dry like uji never would
Food!
Words leave me with an in-suppressible urge to indulge in more,
More incomprehensible attacks on my sanity as I am
Bombarded each day with the bulging mass of messy convocations to
Willingly submit to their rule,
So I submit to their strength,
I submit to their unforgiving determination to
Ignore inhibitions and
Give into their limitation of exemption,
The liberation that is forever.

What is your voice?

What is your voice, but your mind set free?
What is your voice, but a weapon of mass destruction?
What is your voice, but the reason many who heard it, listened?
What is your voice, but the many who listened, learned?
What is your voice, but the many who learned, acted?
What is your voice, but the many who acted, impacted?
What is your voice, but the many that impacted, spread?
What is your voice, but the spreading of which, affected change?
What is your voice, but affected change, men alike grew?
What is your voice, but the growth of a society, from one pebble?
What is your voice, but the pebble, dropped into the ocean that created a ripple?
What is your voice, but the ripple that touched the shore?
What is your voice, but the thing that spoke you?
What is your voice, but yours and yours to share?
What is your voice? It is but yours to speak.