say so

my love isn’t any less because i don’t say so.
some words aren’t anymore because they’re all said,
excuse me while i carve my heart the shape of your lips.
excuse me while i block out the sun so that all I see is your glowing face.
let the crackle in my voice be the dented pages you wish to find your name engraved upon,
love shaped circles in the way my hands cup your face.
let the goosebumps on my skin be the spitting image of thanksgiving dinner,
my fear of losing you etched in the pores of this plucked pelt put to rest on crumb filled tables of gratitude.
i stand before you a carpenter’s workshop –
splinters and shavings flailing about.
i am the dust that gets brushed off the thing that’s worth looking at;
floating away, never to be thought of again.
if my words meant anything anymore i would use them;
dig into your ears with sweet nothings and
drum the beat of your pumping crimson heritage ’til i hit matter,
pound letters into your mind and make you rethink the alphabets sequence.
letters senselessly misplaced in my being.
lose L to the sound of my voice,
find O in the touch of my skin,
see V in the shape of my nose,
taste E on the tip of my tongue,
the gaps in your abc’s, meaningless signs of an incomplete;
a hushed memory from a distant thought,
some lesson untaught,
and if silence could speak it would tell you the same.
show you the mouth duct taped in the dark corner now shining in the spotlight of that centre stage microphone.
show you the speaker of a body, morphed from a disfigured childhood.
show you missed commas,
forgotten fullstops,
t’s mistaken for l’s,
i’s unfinished lines,
stories of a perfection’s untold flaws.
i mistake your smile for the air in my lungs.
the warmth of your gaze for the blood in my veins.
fault the stars for their soulless stares
because your eyes are the windows to my body of mismatched fingers and knuckles,
canvas that painted my imperfections into jagged edged frames.
if i said the words, would you see the meaning?
would you hear me make sense?
if i said the words would that be all you needed?
my love isn’t any less because I don’t say so.
some words aren’t anymore because they’re all said,
excuse me while I let these healed wounds do all the talking.